The Archetype Diet Read online

  This imprint is not just psychological, it’s also physical. Her brain has been wired to care for others. An unpredictable childhood has sensitized her to other people’s moods. A slight change in someone’s tone of voice can put her on high alert, and she instinctually jumps in to solve the problem.

  In order to ascend to your crown, you must believe with every single cell in your body—not just your rational mind—that it’s okay (and safe) to say no and that, just because someone else has a problem, doesn’t mean you need to solve it. Similarly, things will get done, even if you don’t make it happen personally. The belief that it won’t get done if you don’t do it is a residue from childhood. Ask for help and you’ll be surprised by the support you receive. Start by learning to say yes whenever someone offers you help. Accepting assistance—whether it’s from a spouse, a friend, a coworker, or anyone else in a position to give it—is not a sign that you are a burden but an acknowledgment that you deserve to be nurtured, too. Be patient with the process as you get used to it, and trust that people are genuinely offering to help you without conditions. As you learn to receive help from others, you will start to feel safe with others giving to you and will learn to be okay with not doing it all by yourself.

  To be clear, accepting help does not mean you need to stop giving. Showing affection for others and caring for them is your gift and it should be celebrated. But choose the recipients wisely. Pause before you bestow your kindness, time, love, or money. Ask yourself if this person genuinely needs your help or if they can handle things on their own. The more you consider this question, the easier it will become to respond accordingly without feeling guilty. This is where understanding the other archetypes is helpful. Wonder Women and Femme Fatales are the most resilient and resourceful and are more likely to ask if they need help; you don’t need to offer it to them. Take this time and give it to yourself. Ethereals tend to be more reserved and may not ask for your help. Check in with them and ask if they require assistance before you jump in. It’s not your responsibility to rescue them.

  As you ascend to your crown, you will learn to love deeply without sacrificing yourself. You will become lighter (physically and emotionally) by not carrying the responsibilities of others. Every cell in your body will know that you are loved for who you are, not because of what you give to or do for others. Embracing the positive attributes of the other archetypes will help you achieve balance and rise to the crown.

  Channel your inner Femme Fatale by caring for your physical body. Buy that bright red Tom Ford lipstick not only because you look hot wearing it but because the color helps to rebalance your emotional state. Remember, caring for others does not mean neglecting yourself.

  Tap into your inner Ethereal to learn how to listen to your intuition and discern who and what will bring joy to your life.

  Let Wonder Woman imbue you with the strength to say no so you have more time to dedicate to yourself.

  When you layer in these attributes, you will transform from a Nurturer seeking to heal your childhood wounds to a woman who heals the world with her loving presence, compassion, dignity, and nobility.

  THE NURTURER’S FOOD PRESCRIPTION

  Understanding the Nurturer’s biochemistry—how your body functions and how your environment and diet affect those functions—will help you realize that your struggle to lose weight is not a reflection on you as a person but rather a sign of hormonal imbalances that interfere with weight loss. Like all of the archetypes, where you store body fat gives clues as to the hormones at play. Nurturers tend to store fat all over their bodies, and you may feel like you are wearing a fat suit, which you wish you could just step out of. Over time, if you don’t pay attention to your physical body, you’ll start to store fat on your upper thighs and upper arms. The more out of balance you are, the more body fat you store. The good news is, subtle changes to your diet will have a profound impact on speeding up weight loss and directly targeting fat loss from your problem areas.

  Before we explore your unique biochemistry, I want to emphasize that the goal for a Nurturer should not be to become ultra-thin. A Nurturer is never going to look like an Ethereal, and if you attempt that, you will set yourself up for years of disappointment. I want you to embrace your strong, womanly body. It is extremely feminine and sensual and projects a sense of trust. And take some solace in the fact that many the Ethereal wishes she had a Nurturer’s boobs and butt!

  HORMONAL IMBALANCES—INSULIN AND ESTROGEN

  The Nurturer’s dominant hormones are insulin and estrogen. If you’ve read any diet book over the past twenty years (and I know you’ve read many!), you’ll know that the hormone insulin tells the body to store excess carbs as body fat. Exactly what comprises “excess” carbs will depend on your level of exercise and how efficient your body is at regulating your glucose levels. Most out-of-balance Nurturers are not good at regulating their glucose levels and often have insulin resistance. Because your body preferentially stores glucose as body fat, you tend to have a curvy and full body shape.

  When you grab a muffin on the way to work because you didn’t have time to make breakfast, your body will store those carbs as fat and it will not burn body fat for several hours. This muffin will mess with your sugar levels, and you will end up—in a cruel biochemical irony—feeling hungrier because your muscle cells are starved for glucose. However, if you ate an omelet for breakfast (even if it had the same number of calories as the muffin), you’d burn fat instead of storing it because the protein would stimulate the production of glucagon, one of the body’s fat-burning hormones that also helps to suppress the appetite. This is why counting calories as your only dietary guideline is ineffective. You must also consider where those calories are coming from and which hormones are being triggered.

  The Nurturer also tends to have higher levels of estrogen. You may be genetically programmed to produce more estrogen or may not be metabolizing estrogen well, thereby causing more active forms of estrogen to stay in your body for longer. Excess insulin also increases the amount of freely available estrogen in the body. The higher the level of free estrogen, the more it can communicate with fat cells. Researchers have found that there are different estrogen receptors in the glutes versus the abdominal area, which can partially explain why there’s a different distribution of fat on different women.1 If you are experiencing elevated levels of estrogen, then you will start to store fat on your hips and upper thighs, which have more estrogen receptors than other parts of the body.2

  The excess estrogen increases the risk of fibroids, endometriosis, and breast cancer since the tissue in these areas is stimulated by estrogen. It also contributes to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and unmanageable perimenopausal symptoms, and it can suppress the thyroid function, making it even more difficult for you to lose weight. I observe more severe thyroid imbalances in Nurturers than in Wonder Women because many Nurturers have learned to comfort-eat. These comfort foods increase insulin, interfere with estrogen levels, and suppress active thyroid hormones, making the whole damn situation much worse! The Nurturer’s signaling system is out of whack, and until she repairs it, she will continue to gain weight, feel fatigued, be hungry, and experience symptoms of estrogen dominance.

  AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES

  Autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s and fibromyalgia are also more likely in the Nurturer than other archetypes. This is partially due to her pull toward more carbohydrate-based foods when she is upset but also due to unexpressed emotions and negative childhood events such as an alcoholic parent, a sick family member, or physical or emotional abuse. According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study, one of the largest studies on childhood trauma and adult outcomes ever undertaken, just one of these events increases the chance of being hospitalized for an autoimmune disease by 20 percent.3 If you have two or more ACEs, your risk increases by 70 percent. While I don’t cover specific autoimmune diseases
in depth in this book, the tools you’ll find in these pages can help to reduce their severity.

  THE FEARS

  As a Nurturer you may find that weight loss is slow, not because you don’t want to lose weight but because you resist change. You are genuinely scared to be hungry and fearful of making changes that might cause this. If the Nurturer doesn’t feel safe with her eating plan, she can find herself secretly eating and end up stuck in a guilt-shame cycle. But this isn’t all in your mind; you will be hungrier than the other archetypes, which is why it’s vital that you follow the meal plan I’ve created for your archetype since it has been specifically designed to reduce hunger.

  You must also learn to trust yourself not to fall into an overeating spiral at the first hint of temptation or hunger. You are not weak or broken or undisciplined. Your desire to please and care for others has, over time, led you to form habits and behavioral patterns that allow you to put others’ needs before your own. This is why it’s essential for you—and all of the archetypes—to examine your childhood wounds and how you source your self-worth in an effort to identify the root causes of your eating (and other) behaviors and take the steps to change them. Since your mind is your biggest barrier—often telling you that you have no time for yourself—you’ll need to work diligently through Part III about healing the mind so you can silence these false voices. Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act but rather a way for you to become more physically and emotionally resilient. When you feel restored, you can give more freely to others because your love comes from a place of abundance, not depletion. You are able to receive from others as much as you give to others. You become whole.

  THE NURTURER’S MEAL PLAN

  Since your biochemistry makes you the most sensitive of all of the archetypes to carbs, your diet is slightly more limited than those of the other archetypes. Remember, though, it is designed to help you lose weight, rebalance your hormones, and repair your metabolism. You should immediately feel more energized and see a reduction of inflammation in your body. Eating this way consistently will also give you the vitality and body shape you’ve desired for so long without you having to follow a complicated or overly restrictive diet ever again.

  The guidelines below outline the general principles around which you should structure your meals. A ten-day plan, which incorporates these concepts, is in Chapter 13.

  Step 1: Improve Your Daily Eating Regimen

  Start each morning with an elixir to boost your metabolism. In spring and summer, drink the juice of an entire lemon in 12 ounces of cool water. In fall and winter, drink a warming ginger tea.

  Eat a protein-based breakfast; no oats, cereal, toast, or muffins.

  Be sure lunch and dinner each consist of six ingredients: three vegetables, one protein, and two fats. Do not include carbs like sweet potatoes, beans, rice, or quinoa. These meals should look like the food plate here.

  Don’t skip meals or snacks, even if you are busy. They are essential for stabilizing your blood-sugar levels and decreasing hunger.

  Wind down your evenings with a tea specifically designed for your biochemistry (included below).

  Supplement as recommended below to reset your metabolism and rebalance your hormone levels.

  Step 2: Choose the Right Foods

  Specific foods can help to rebalance the Nurturer’s physical and emotional state. These suggestions should be followed in conjunction with the general recommendations made in Part II to address your particular hormonal concerns.

  Eat at least one cruciferous vegetable daily. These include kale, arugula, watercress, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, collard greens, Swiss chard, and bok choy. Cruciferous vegetables help to detoxify estrogen and decrease insulin resistance. Add broccoli to a stir-fry, make a cauliflower soup for lunch, or try grilled fish with a summer slaw made with purple and green cabbage.

  Eat one red fruit or vegetable daily. Since red is associated with the Nurturer’s root chakra, incorporating red fruits and vegetables into your diet will support your emotional stability.

  Skip carbs except at your pleasure meal. Since you are prone to insulin resistance, you need to limit your carbohydrate intake. The carbs in your diet should come principally from vegetables. This means vegetable soup instead of lentil soup, raw zucchini noodles instead of pasta, and cauliflower rice instead of grain bowls. Nurturers can eat up to two 1-cup servings of fruit per day (except bananas, which are too sugary for the Nurturer).

  Eat 5 ounces of clean animal protein at both lunch and dinner. This portion size is slightly larger than what I recommend for the other archetypes because the additional protein will help decrease your hormone-induced hunger.

  Eat lighter forms of protein. Lean toward a pescatarian diet, with fish, eggs, hemp seeds, and plant-based protein powders as your preferred protein sources. These are easier to digest and are energetically lighter, making you feel less stagnant and inflamed. Eat organic poultry when these protein sources are unavailable.

  Eat red meat no more than twice per month. Red meat, such as beef, lamb, pork, and game, is the most grounding type of protein, and since most Nurturers already feel grounded and want to feel lighter, it’s best to eat red meat sparingly.

  Avoid tofu and tempeh. Because soy has a weak estrogenic effect, Nurturers should avoid eating tofu and tempeh. Small amounts of miso and tamari (wheat-free soy sauce) are fine since they are used for flavor and not as a protein source.

  Avoid nuts and nut butters. Most of your fat should come from seeds, olives, avocados, and olive oil. Nuts are too energetically dense for the Nurturer and can make you feel stuck and stagnant. The exception is Brazil nuts, which contain nutrients that support a healthy thyroid function. You can eat four Brazil nuts as a snack.

  Use spices. Spices like cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, and turmeric help fire up the metabolism. Add turmeric to your eggs at breakfast or a dash of cinnamon to your morning coffee.

  Avoid dairy. Dairy has the propensity to stimulate insulin, making it more difficult for you to lose weight. This includes yogurt, feta cheese, whey protein powder, and all other foods and beverages made from cow, sheep, or goat’s milk. The only exception is your treat meal, which is discussed in Chapter 12.

  Foods that rebalance the Nurturer: grilled fish, raw salads, seeds, cruciferous vegetables, and warming spices as well as red fruits and vegetables.

  Foods that should be kept to a minimum: grains, legumes, root vegetables, nuts, red meat, dairy, and sweets.

  THE NURTURER’S TEA

  This tea was developed specifically for the Nurturer by the Ayurvedic practitioner Nadya Andreeva. It contains hibiscus, which helps decrease cellular inflammation and suppresses the appetite. The cardamom reduces swelling while the cloves and ginger are stimulating to help fire up your metabolism. Drink a cup in the evening to help you release the tension of the day. This recipe will make one 12-ounce cup of tea, but you can mix the ingredients in bulk and store them in an airtight container.

  2 tablespoons dried hibiscus flowers

  1-inch piece of fresh ginger, thinly sliced

  5 green cardamom pods

  1 whole clove

  Combine the ingredients in a small pot with 12 ounces of hot water. Steep for 5 minutes, then strain into a tea cup. Add more hot water if the tea is too strong.

  THE NURTURER’S FOOD PLATE

  Step 3: Supplement Strategically

  I have found the following supplements to be the most helpful in bringing my Nurturers back into balance. I have provided recommendations on where to find these in Appendix C, “Resources.”

  A glucose-regulating supplement: Choose one that contains green tea, vanadium, black pepper, cinnamon, chromium, alpha lipoic acid, magnesium, and gymnema sylvestre. These nutrients impro
ve glucose levels and can help reset the insulin response.4 Take daily.

  EPA/DHA (Omega-3): Omega-3s have consistently been shown to improve blood-sugar regulation and insulin sensitivity.5 It’s believed that they increase adiponectin (a protein that regulates glucose), reduce inflammation in the fat cells, and improve how the receptor cells listen to the metabolic hormones. Take 1,000 mg of the active form of omega-3s EPA and DHA daily.

  L-carnitine: This is an amino acid that helps shuttle fat into the mitochondria to be burned as fuel.6 It helps switch you from a carbohydrate burner to a fat burner.7 This means you’ll preferentially burn body fat (not glycogen) during your workout and you’ll be less hungry after you exercise. Take 3 grams in a powder form so that it can easily be mixed into water and consumed.

  DIM: DIM is the key component in cruciferous vegetables that helps to metabolize estrogen to a weaker form.8 Take 300 mg daily.

  B complex: Take an activated B complex to help boost energy levels and regulate hormone levels. Look for the activated forms, which include L-5-MTHF (folate), pyridoxine HCl (B6), and methylcobalamin (B12). Take one daily after food.