The Archetype Diet Page 2

  This is exactly the type of breakthrough I want you to have as you read this book. In the chapters that follow, I will delve more deeply into each of the four archetypes to show how each one of them sources her self-worth and explain how the eating behaviors typical of each archetype show up on the body. I will help you identify your dominant archetype and provide practical tips for adjusting your diet to your body’s particular needs, including a ten-day food plan, with recipes and nutritional supplements. I will debunk some of the most persistent myths surrounding food and explain how we really gain and lose weight in an effort to remove the fears and stigmas you may have developed in your efforts to balance your body. And I will guide you in examining your core childhood experiences so you can better understand the role they’ve played in your life. The goal is to transform your relationship with yourself and your body so you can achieve a healthier, happier relationship with food and become a more empowered and integrated woman.

  Before we begin, I want to emphasize one important point. While I wrote this book for women who are struggling with their weight, the benefits of following the Archetype Model go well beyond weight loss. By becoming more fully aware of your innermost thoughts, beliefs, and fears and letting go of the behaviors that have altered your relationship with food, you will automatically have more energy to dedicate to more worthwhile pursuits. My clients have not only reshaped their bodies and found peace with food, they have also attained greater self-acceptance, reignited their self-worth, left depleting jobs to create successful businesses, and created more loving and deeply connected relationships.

  What you can achieve when you eliminate the stress you’ve attached to food and your body is up to you to discover. My hope is that you will resolve the physical ailments you’ve struggled with (including your weight) and, in the process, uncover a more radiant, confident, energetic, and graceful version of you.

  PART I

  IDENTIFY YOUR ARCHETYPE

  CHAPTER 1

  Which Archetype Are You?

  The meal plans and advice I provide in the rest of the book are designed to complement the archetype with which you identify the most. Before you can start to apply the principles of this book, you’ll need to determine which archetype best encompasses the way you see yourself. You might assume you are a Wonder Woman by virtue of the demanding job you manage but at heart you are a Nurturer—you take on extra responsibilities because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. You might assume you are a Femme Fatale because how you look is important to you, but you’re actually an Ethereal who has taken on the mask of a Femme Fatale to fit in a society that overvalues physical appearance. Your archetype is not determined by what you do, it’s why you do it. What is driving your behaviors? The answer lies in where you source your self-worth from.

  The quiz below will help reveal the psychological underpinnings of your instinctive behavior and what motivates these behaviors. The questions are lighthearted, but it’s important that you answer not as you’d like to respond but how you truly would respond in the situation presented. Select the one answer that best aligns with your likely response to the situation. Don’t overthink it. If none of the options appeal to you, choose the most likely response. There is no right or wrong answer. No archetype is better than any other.

  QUIZ:

  WHICH ARCHETYPE ARE YOU?

  PEOPLE DESCRIBE YOU AS:

  Loving, giving, kind, and compassionate.

  Successful, smart, witty, and dynamic.

  Attractive, sexy, sparkly, and playful.

  Intuitive, sensitive, spiritual, and creative.

  ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE WAYS TO RELAX IS TO:

  Bake cookies.

  Read a prizewinning book.

  Buy the latest color lipstick.

  Meditate to keep your mind calm.

  YOU FEEL YOUR BEST WHEN:

  You care, love, or rescue others.

  You’re recognized for your achievements.

  You’re complemented on your looks, style, or taste.

  You’re creatively expressing yourself.

  THE GREATEST SOURCE OF FRUSTRATION IN YOUR LIFE IS:

  Your weight. It never seems to budge no matter what you do.

  Your love life. You can get so busy that meaningful romantic connections take a backseat to other priorities (even though you wish they didn’t).

  Understanding of world events. You’re so consumed by your own world that you can feel disconnected from political, social, and economic issues.

  Your finances. You have extraordinary visions but don’t know how to make them profitable.

  WHEN YOU GO OUT TO A NICE RESTAURANT, YOU ORDER:

  Something a little carby, even though you know you shouldn’t.

  Whatever you want. After a long, hard day you deserve it!

  Not much; there’s no room for a poochy belly in this dress!

  A plate full of beans, rice, and tortilla wraps—as your friends look on in envy.

  THE UNHEALTHIEST ASPECT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD IS:

  You’re a secret eater. You hide food from yourself only to “sneakily” eat it later in the day.

  You’re generally good during the day, but you can blow it at night.

  You think about food and what it will do to your body 80 percent of the time.

  You frequently forget to eat.

  YOU WORRY THAT YOUR PARTNER WILL:

  Think you’re needy.

  Be demanding and resent the time you spend working.

  Find someone more beautiful than you.

  Think you’re weird.

  THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A SERIOUS BREAKUP YOU:

  Ate ice cream, then cried.

  Did everything possible to stay busy and didn’t cry.

  Already had another suitor lined up.

  Cried then meditated until you made peace with the situation.

  YOUR FAVORITE SCENT IS:

  Any fragrance with floral notes.

  A custom blend you import from France.

  Your man’s pheromones.

  Palo santo.

  AT THE COOL NEW APOTHECARY, YOU BUY:

  Heart tonic to strengthen your love.

  Brain tonic to enhance your mind.

  Sex tonic to intensify your lust.

  Intuition tonic to heighten your creativity.

  WHEN SCANNING SOCIAL MEDIA YOU:

  Like everyone’s posts.

  Feel a twinge of envy whenever someone posts about a new life milestone.

  Critique everyone’s selfies.

  Post a photo from your most recent yoga retreat.

  YOU TEND TO OVEREAT WHEN YOU’RE FEELING:

  Upset about something.

  Angry at someone, including yourself.

  Ugly and unattractive.

  Spacey and disconnected.

  SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT YOU’D RATHER NOT ADMIT IS:

  Your health and finances have been compromised by putting others’ needs before your own.

  You feel guilty taking time off even though you know you need to relax.

  You spend a lot of money on looking good.

  You’ve struggled financially to pursue your creative passion.
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br />   IF YOU BREAK YOUR DIET, IT’S BECAUSE:

  You don’t want people to think you’re a diva by ordering something different.

  You’ve had a tough day and want to switch off with food or alcohol.

  You’re frustrated with yourself. You aren’t losing fast enough.

  You’re feeling hypersensitive to the world and need carbs to dull the sensitivity.

  WHEN YOU’RE UPSET, YOUR EATING STYLE IS TO:

  Eat comfort food. Isn’t that what everybody does?

  Drink wine—that’s your de-stress potion!

  Control food—you either restrict or binge.

  Ignore food. You don’t care for food at the best of times.

  AS A CHILD YOUR PARENTS MOST OFTEN PRAISED YOU FOR:

  Helping around the house and looking after siblings.

  Academic and athletic achievements.

  Looking pretty.

  Being different.

  IF A FRIEND IS UNWELL, YOU:

  Race over with chicken soup.

  Stop by after work, answering emails on the way.

  Bring her celebrity magazines and try to distract her by gossiping about your love lives.

  Bring her a healing crystal and some herbal tea.

  YOU TEND TO CARRY BODY FAT:

  Everywhere but especially on your upper thighs.

  Around your stomach.

  You don’t have much—maybe five to ten pounds extra.

  You tend to be too skinny, but when you do gain weight, it’s everywhere.

  IF A MAN YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SENDS YOU A TEXT MESSAGE, YOU:

  Respond right away, asking how his day was.

  Shoot back a witty response to keep the banter going.

  Respond with a flirtatious text.

  Wait until 11:11 p.m. to reply.

  WHEN INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB:

  You send a thank-you note to everyone you spoke with.

  You say your greatest weakness is being a perfectionist (not that you really think it’s a weakness).

  You dress impeccably.

  You would never take a job at a company with such a formal hiring process.

  NOTE HOW MANY FOR EACH ANSWER HERE:

  __________

  __________

  __________

  __________

  The highest score is your dominant archetype.

  A: Nurturer

  B: Wonder Woman

  C: Femme Fatale

  D: Ethereal

  If you’ve identified your archetype correctly, you’ll feel understood when you read the chapter about her that follows, like someone has read the inside of your mind—for better or for worse. You’ll discover patterns you weren’t consciously aware of. You’ll also realize that you’re not alone—there are plenty of other women with the same fears and the same motivators.

  If your score on the quiz above is tied between two archetypes, read the chapters for each and see which archetype sits better with you. If you’re still uncertain of your archetype, ask your friends. They’ll know, just as you know theirs, your mother’s, and your colleagues’. When your behavior is instinctive, you might not notice it, but other people do!

  THE TRIANGLE OF BALANCE

  While you will identify most strongly with one particular archetype, how strongly you identify with her will depend on whether you are in or out of balance. When you are fully in balance (a state I refer to as being at your “crown”), the characteristics of your primary archetype are integrated with positive attributes from the other archetypes. You are a complete woman. When you are out of balance, however, your archetype’s characteristics—both positive and negative—are more prominent and will dictate your behaviors, from eating to relationships. When you are chronically out of balance, you’ll behave in a way that bolsters your sense of self-worth to the detriment of other aspects of your life. You can do this by either amplifying your archetype’s personality traits or withdrawing from them. The best way to visualize this is to think of an upright triangle. The highest point is the crown, while each point at the base represents amplification and withdrawal. For instance, a Femme Fatale might amplify her archetype by seeking validation and posting photos of herself in a bikini on social media. Or she might withdraw and be so afraid of showing off her body that the very thought of posting a selfie could have her running for the nearest Amish community. A Wonder Woman might work eighty hours a week and become the chief executive officer (CEO) of her company by amplifying her strength and ambition, or she could be spending eighty-hour weeks pushing paper for a superior because she’s scared to go after a bigger job where she might be critiqued. She adapts by withdrawing from the positive traits of the archetype.

  BODY TYPE, ARCHETYPE, AND DIET

  Intuitively you know the diet that works for the supermodel isn’t going to work for the supermom. These two women have different lives, different motivations, and, typically, different body shapes. Similarly, the diet that works for my binge-eating client is not going to work for my naturally lean yogini who often forgets to eat but has gained weight due to a metabolic issue. They need different sets of nutrients and therefore different meal plans to rebalance their unique physiologies.

  The Archetype Model is a response to overly restrictive, one-size-fits-all plans that fail to consider how different bodies may respond to the same inputs in different ways. No other health issue is as complex as weight loss. It is a far cry from the “eat less, move more” philosophy that has permeated our culture for the past hundred years, nor is it as simple as eliminating one type of food in favor of others. Food, exercise, sleep, hormones, appetite, adrenals, thyroid, the gut microbiome, inflammation, genes, the environment, medication, habits, appetite, self-worth, subconscious thoughts, emotions, and stress can all affect how the body stores and burns fat. If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t seem to lose weight even when you’re exercising and eating right or why your best friend can eat heaping bowls of pasta without gaining a pound but your weight seems to ebb and flow as frequently as the tides, you’re not crazy, or lazy, or undisciplined; the presiding weight loss equation of calories in/calories out is woefully inadequate.

  What we call “fat” is actually adipose tissue that is composed of fat cells, inflammatory cells, toxins, and hormones. As hormones communicate with the adipose tissue about where to store fat, you can glean information about what is going on with your body biochemically by observing your body fat. This means, if you don’t like your belly fat, thighs, or that overall layer of body fat, you can eat in a way that changes how hormones interact with the fat tissue so your body will stop storing fat in those places. Your personal trainer will tell you that you can’t spot train, but you can eat in a way that does!

  The Archetype Model is designed to address the different ways we store fat by recommending different food plans for each of the different archetypes. Since women who identify with a particular archetype source their self-worth from the same place, when they are out of balance they tend to share similar behaviors, including food behaviors, and, as a result, they tend to have the same hormonal imbalances that, in turn, cause them to gain weight in the same places.

  For example, Nurturers often have higher levels of insulin and estrogen. Over time, too much insulin will slow her body’s ability to burn fat so she’ll end up carrying weight all over her body. Excess insulin can also trigger the production of estrogen, which directs fat to be stored on the upper thighs. Because of this, out-of-balance Nurturers te
nd to have a full, curvy body shape. Meanwhile, the successful Wonder Women, who fears being invalidated, dismissed, or perceived as irrelevant, tends to complain of excess belly fat, a sign that her body is producing too much cortisol, a hormone that spikes during times of stress. If left unregulated, this can lead to fatigue, adrenal depletion, and a thyroid imbalance—all of which can affect one’s ability to lose weight. Out-of-balance Femme Fatales are petrified of gaining weight because they source their self-worth from their looks. Their weight often yo-yos back and forth depending on whether they are restricting food to lose weight or overeating out of shame or frustration. They may have too much cortisol, insulin, and/or estrogen and therefore take on a certain body shape depending on what they’re eating. Ethereals are naturally thin and therefore don’t gain weight as easily as the other archetypes, but if they feel depressed, anxious, or highly sensitive to the world around them, they can compensate by eating too many refined carbs. This wreaks havoc on their metabolism, causing them to appear “skinny fat”—not overweight but carrying a thin layer of pinchable fat over their thin muscles.